Making my own opportunities

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been forced to go back to seeking opportunities. I never knew how difficult it would be. The world continues to change while I still feel like I’m stuck in the same place. I want to grow, but maybe I’m just seeking the unobtainable. I don’t really know what my career should be. I think I’m still searching. I’m still in my 20s and it feels like the right time to search. Searching for what, though? I don’t know. I have no clue and the best part of it is that I know my 20s will pass soon. I want to get my life together and start making a great income. I was doing completely fine teaching piano with my students and making a good income from it. Now, however, I feel like I’m sinking. And I lost a good portion of my students during this pandemic. What do I do? Do I continue to panic? I wish I knew where life is taking me. For now, I’m going to continue to try to get more students and hope for the best.

Living an opulent lifestyle

I’m not even sure if opulent is a word. It has been awhile since I’ve studied or tried to learn something new. I have been working and studying languages, but I just don’t feel like I’m gaining any new knowledge. In this post, I want to talk about living a lifestyle that is extravagant. I definitely think that I live an opulent lifestyle. I make sure that I have all of my comfort items and more. For example, I have four oil diffusers for my room. FOUR! I don’t need that many, but I like being able to diffuse oils constantly. Another example is that I have about eight candles in my room. I don’t need that many. Some would say that two candles would suffice… but not for me. I need to have variety. I know that I am very extra and I could cut down on the amount of stuff I own, but I don’t want to.

I believe that life is about fulfillment. And I feel fulfilled when I make myself happy. Am I the only person that does this?

Hello I’m back :)

I apologize so much for not being on here and I know there’s a lot to explain. Ever since the quarantine started, I’ve had zero inspiration to be productive and the only thing I’ve been doing is trying to keep my piano studio together. I know there is no excuse for such a long hiatus, but that is honestly what I’ve been going through. I hope you all are okay during this time and are staying safe. I hope to post more content on here and look out for more blog posts!

The impact of having therapy

I’ve been sharing a lot about myself and one of the things I’ve done to better improve my mental health was to receive therapy. I know that there is a negative connotation when someone says therapy, but I promise you that it is nothing like what you would think. It has helped me so much in learning about myself, conquering problems that I’ve had, and soothing me when I’m in a negative mindset.

I initially learned about therapy when YouTuber Nikki Phillippi talked about it on her YouTube channel. She admitted that she talked to a therapist every week about herself and her life. And I was intrigued. I always thought that therapy was expensive, so I never gave it a second thought. I remember learning about regain from another YouTuber that I can’t remember. I think she was a medical student and she used it to talk through her anxiety/stress related problems. I never thought that therapy would be affordable. The YouTuber recommended using regain. Regain offers a discount if you need it. I definitely needed it. I started using it by myself when my partner and I were going through issues. And eventually he joined me in my sessions. I don’t recommend it all the time because my therapist was quick to hang up the phone and she was only available to speak once a week. She was also slow on responding to messages. That’s the thing with finding a good therapist. You have to be careful to find someone that actually cares about your problems. Ours didn’t even know our names after two to three months working with her. We stopped the subscription.

I was using a crisis hotline to speak to a counselor only when I was truly upset. And it helped. I was able to talk to them on the phone, but the wait times were horrible. You could end up waiting for thirty minutes. I could imagine someone being more triggered in their negative mental state if they had to wait so long to talk to someone. The upside was that it was free. I was using this hotline every so often until I found the best form of therapy available.

I currently use the regain texting hotline which is free. And it connects me to a counselor within a minute. The counselors are very caring and they actually remember your name! The advice that they give is infinitely better than all of my previous experiences with therapy. I have been using this every single time when I’m upset. And it has changed my life for the better. They stay with you on the phone for hours if you need. I imagine them being like a friend you’re texting throughout the day. They are responsive and you never have to wait for long to receive a response. I’ll have the information below and I don’t get anything from mentioning them in my blog. I just really like their service. And like Nikki Phillippi said, she believes that everyone needs a therapist. Life gets so hard sometimes. I really like the idea that it’s a third party that can give unbiased advice. We all need someone to be there to talk to us and to help us back up. I hope this has helped someone to find help if they need it. You are never alone in your battles.

I used this today and it reaffirms how much I like this service. Regain: Text “regain” to 741741

Working hard even when you don’t see any results

My life has been a constant hamster wheel where I feel like I’ve been running and I haven’t gotten anywhere. It’s disappointing to think that all of your hard work hasn’t produced any results, but don’t give up. You have to keep going. I would never stop trying even when I fail. If you want something badly enough, you will go to great lengths to achieve them. I’ve spent so much time working on myself. And honestly, I haven’t seen any results. The results might be too small for me to appreciate it also. I often feel like my hard work has done nothing for me. I will keep going, however. I feel like I’m just about to bloom. All of this hard work will pay off. Stay strong and believe.

Feeling very self-conscious

Ever since my readership has grown, I’ve felt pressure to choose topics that are appropriate. I would usually write about whatever comes to my mind and I haven’t really done that in awhile. I would write these thoughts now on my other blogs, but I wouldn’t write them on my main blog.

I feel like I have to watch what I say because I have so many viewers that I don’t want to offend. I apologize if I haven’t been writing. It has been especially tough to find topics to write about on this blog. It’s not about what’s on my mind anymore. I have to be careful when I’m writing. I hope to be able to write more and honestly, I think 2020 hasn’t been good to me because I’ve been so closed off. I haven’t been writing many blog posts. And I need to make a change. Let’s do this together and conquer 2020. I believe we all need a good restart to this year.

Things that I want to change in my life

I’ve been reflecting on my previous post and I’ve came up with some ideas that I want to work on for myself. I’ve realized that I am definitely reliant on my partner for a part of my happiness and I want to be able to make myself happy too. I know that life is more than just relying on one person. It’s not that I don’t love him, I just want to be able to make myself just as happy as he makes me. Here is my list of changes I’m planning on making:

1. I’m going to manage my dinner every night. I know that this might sound simple, but I’ve been partly reliant on my partner for dinner and I cannot do that anymore. I want to have all of my food ready for me and I want to eat the best food possible. I also don’t want to worry about not having anything. I’m a grown woman and I need to start being completely responsible for this.

2. I’m going to start taking more financial responsibilities. I hate the idea of being reliant on other people because I want to become completely self-sufficient. Unfortunately, in order to do this, I will have to just start doing it. I will learn how to do this and eventually, it will become easier and easier to do.

3. I’m going to live my life regardless of the limitations I have. I have been isolating myself in my room because of the fear of other people judging me. I’m going to simply stop caring. I cannot let myself be pulled back by other people. There are so many things I’ve wanted to do, but I don’t because of other people. My life is still going and I don’t want to waste my time over other people.

4. I’m going to start saving money. I’ve realized over the years that money speaks more than words can. Someone can say mean things about me, but it wouldn’t matter if I had money and I was self-sufficient. I need to start making a savings account that I can fall back on. I want to be able to have money to take care of myself. And it will definitely help when people try to talk down to me because I know that their words won’t matter. I am someone and I will be fine just by myself.

5. I’m going to work harder on school. My education will change everything for me and I need to remember that this is my priority. I have a whole lifetime to be with my partner and I will have dinner with him every night in the future. Our future will be great. I have to remember that.

Of course, these goals are highly influenced by my own life, but I hope it can give everyone some perspective on their own lives. I’m still learning and I am going to continue on improving myself every day.

In need of a stress reliever

Ever since I was young, I didn’t really need to take care of my mental health. I would just go through whatever emotion I had completely and then I was over it. If I was sad, I would cry for hours and hours until I couldn’t cry anymore. If I was angry, I would just distance myself from people for a day or two. And if I was happy, I would be jumping up and down. Now, my emotions are not so easy to handle. I didn’t know that when I got older, I would have to focus on my mental health. I never had to worry about taking care of my stress. I remember my childhood and my high school years were filled with stress, and I seemed fine. My body wasn’t breaking down like it is now when I’m stressed.

I have had to focus on my mental heath constantly every single day. I remind myself to take breaks when I’m overworked or to get more sleep. And I am honestly tired from doing this. I take care of myself every single day. And I feel like my body needs me all the time.

I recently had a horrible migraine and I now know it’s because of stress. My body is filled with stress and I don’t know how to get rid of it. I don’t even know how to manage my stress. I think I need to have a couple of stress relievers that I can do or have every single day. If I don’t control my stress, it will take a heavy toll on my body. And I want to be alive to be there with my husband. I have brainstormed some stress relievers. I think I’ve come up with some good ideas. Of course, every person has a different way of relieving their stress and they also have different things they like. I enjoy blogging and it has always helped me to overcome any negative feelings I might be feeling. I feel so much better when I write things down. I also enjoy quiet. I don’t like loud music or television. I would much rather prefer sitting outside with no noises. Another stress reliever for me is the gym. I’ve talked about it before. And besides those ideas, I feel like I am at a loss for anymore stress relievers. I could develop a plant hobby or a cooking hobby. I just need something to help me cope with my stress for the next five years. If you guys have any ideas, I would greatly appreciate it.

An Update on my Life

Hi everyone 👋 I’m back from a short break. I’ve been sick from the flu and I’m actually still recovering from the flu. I haven’t been doing much of anything besides watching movies and resting. I’m trying to get back on the working train and start working again, but I’ve been afraid. I’m afraid to overextend myself and to work too hard when I know my body needs to heal; that is mainly why I’ve been cooped up in my house for a couple of days. I also know how my body reacts to stress and being overworked. I’m not the type of person that can work when I’m sick.

I have been working on my blog though. It’s easier to do because it’s on my phone and it’s one of the only work related things I’ve done in the past couple of days besides going to teach one lesson. It’s been nice to work on my blog and give it the attention it needs. I’ve been obsessed with mommy blogs because I want to be a mommy blogger in the future. Motivational blogs are also my favorite.

I’m probably not going to write too much. I’m going to return back to my resting after writing this. I’ve been watching movies on Netflix. Olympus has fallen has been my absolute favorite movie so far. I also watched the other two movies In the series. I even watched Anger Management with Adam Sandler. I really hope I feel better tomorrow because I have my lsat class tomorrow. And I have a couple of lessons to go to. I’m also meeting my friend to hang out tomorrow. I’ll talk to you guys later!