Today, I got into my second car accident. Yes, I wasn’t paying attention when I was driving. I looked down for a second and I didn’t have enough time to break, so I ended up rear ending another car. I was traumatized. You never know what is going to happen after the car accident. Am I going to survive this? Is this going to cause me a lot of injuries? Is the other driver okay? I saw my car do things that I didn’t know it could do and I felt terrible about it. The car I hit ended up being completely fine. There wasn’t even a dent in the other car, so the other driver ended up letting me go. He wasn’t upset or anything. I was so grateful. I then pulled into another community to absorb all of the shock of what just happened. I turned off the engine and I just sat in my car trying to let the shock wear off.
Since I’m a huge perfectionist, I was so upset with myself for doing this again. I wanted to hate myself, but I ultimately knew that it was only an accident. I didn’t do this on purpose and people make mistakes. I would never had expected this to happen today, but I can’t give myself a really hard time. I have to understand that this is my fault and I need to take responsibility for it, but I do not have to continue to beat myself up for it. What’s done is done. And I need to start fixing it. I sat there for almost forty minutes before my mind was clear again. I have to say though that my neck hurts and my head is still numb from the accident. I’m going to call a chiropractor tomorrow and try to help myself to start healing. And I already dropped my car off to an auto shop to start appraising the damages. I was so scared during the accident because my knees hit the car. I thought I lost both of my legs. And I honestly think that I’m still suffering ptsd from what happened.
I’ve learned that I need to lessen my driving because I drive a lot for my job. And I am at more of a risk of getting into a car accident than most people are because I’m always driving. I thought about my blog and how I need to start relying on it more. I’m lucky to have a supportive family and partner, but I need to be more independent. I’m going to take some time off today and try to relax my head from pounding. I’ll talk to everyone tomorrow. Thank you for reading.